sys.dm_os_buffer_descriptors
From the official documentation on sys.dm_os_buffer_descriptors (Transact-SQL):
sys.dm_os_buffer_descriptors returns pages that are being used by the Resource database. sys.dm_os_buffer_descriptors does not return information about free or stolen pages, or about pages that had errors when they were read.
You are looking at the data cache usage. But there are more objects in memory than just the data.
sys.dm_exec_cached_plans
You have to consider the plan cache (sys.dm_exec_cached_plans (Transact-SQL)) and other objects.
Returns a row for each query plan that is cached by SQL Server for faster query execution. You can use this dynamic management view to find cached query plans, cached query text, the amount of memory taken by cached plans, and the reuse count of the cached plans.
Memory acquired by cached plans can be retrieved with the following script:
SELECT plan_handle, ecp.memory_object_address AS CompiledPlan_MemoryObject,
omo.memory_object_address, pages_allocated_count, type, page_size_in_bytes
FROM sys.dm_exec_cached_plans AS ecp
JOIN sys.dm_os_memory_objects AS omo
ON ecp.memory_object_address = omo.memory_object_address
OR ecp.memory_object_address = omo.parent_address
WHERE cacheobjtype = 'Compiled Plan';
GO
sys.dm_os_memory_clerks
But instead of looking at individual caches, you might want to consider querying the view: sys.dm_os_memory_clerks
The SQL Server memory manager consists of a three-layer hierarchy. At the bottom of the hierarchy are memory nodes. The middle level consists of memory clerks, memory caches, and memory pools. The top layer consists of memory objects. These objects are generally used to allocate memory in an instance of SQL Server.
sys.dm_os_memory_objects
... SQL Server components use memory objects instead of memory clerks. Memory objects use the page allocator interface of the memory clerk to allocate pages. Memory objects do not use virtual or shared memory interfaces. Depending on the allocation patterns, components can create different types of memory objects to allocate regions of arbitrary size.
Use the following query to see what sys.dm_os_memory_objects (Transact-SQL) are using in RAM.
SELECT SUM (pages_in_bytes) as 'Bytes Used', type
FROM sys.dm_os_memory_objects
GROUP BY type
ORDER BY 'Bytes Used' DESC;
GO
Summary
So while sys.dm_os_buffer_descriptors does provide an overview of the data cahce, you will have to query other sys views to determine the actual current memory usage.
Your SQL Server instance may at one time have occupied 53 GB of RAM, but it is now only currently consuming 39 GB of RAM (in data cache) and more GB in plan cache and memory objects, which may sum up to 53 GB RAM, but which may also sum up to less because of free pages in RAM, that may not yet have been released by SQL Server.
