I have following situation, I have a table with a primary key, and a constraint that I cannot have rows with specific requirements. For demonstration purposes, here I have constraint that doesn't allow to insert duplicate values in N column. In real case, it checks several columns using foreign keys to other tables and with additional filters, so I cannot put simple unique constraint. 
So here is example

    create table dbo.T1 (
    	Id int not null identity (1,1),
    	N int not null
    )
    
    alter table dbo.T1
    add primary key (Id);
	
	go
	
	create function [dbo].[fn_CheckN](@id int, @n int)
    returns int
    as 
    begin
        if exists (select * from dbo.T1 t where t.n = @n and t.Id != @id)
            return 0
    
        return 1
    end
	
	go
	
	alter table [dbo].T1 with nocheck add  constraint [CK_T1_Valid] check  (([dbo].[fn_CheckN]([Id],[N]) = 1))
    go

    alter table [dbo].T1 check constraint [CK_T1_Valid]
    go


When I run concurrently 
    
    insert into dbo.T1 (N) 
    values (@i)

I get this deadlock S -> X, X -> S on primary key. And that I kind of understand why. Deadlock xml:
https://pastebin.com/hceR3sum

My first attempt to fix this was to grab S lock first 

    begin tran 
    declare @lock int = (select top(1) 1 from dbo.T1 with (tablock, holdlock))

    insert into dbo.T1 (N) 
    values (@i)

    commit

But it failed with this deadlock S -> IX, IX -> S. Can somebody explain what is going on? Deadlock xml: https://pastebin.com/mLXJb59C.

And I fixed it with locking entire table with X lock. Is it ok? Is there a better approach?

    begin tran 
    declare @lock int = (select top(1) 1 from dbo.T1 with (tablockx, holdlock))

    insert into dbo.T1 (N) 
    values (@i)

    commit

If I put index on N column I get this deadlock https://pastebin.com/KJGmLDhH. The real requirement is pretty much the same, the simplest case there are 4 columns with accountIds and enabled flag, and when something happens to the record I have to check that account id is unique among all enabled records. or if it's disabled that I have nothing to check. Something like that.